Slowly, she walked along
the snowy ground that glowed from the rebounding light of the murky sun. Snowflakes
that fluttered onto her long and fringed eyelashes turned to diamond like dews.
All protruding and sharp objects were mollified by the purity of freshly fallen
snow but she knew that she must be careful where to step. The deceptive snow
could varnish dangerous objects or possibly pitfalls. Then again, it was
difficult to be vigilant when the ground of soft snow that looked like a giant duvet
blanket only tempted her to sleep amongst it. The vast white landscape eventually
blurred into one big patch of white, and then black…
When she woke up again, she was
snuggled under a warm blanket. She supported herself up with her arms and
looked around the eccentric surrounding. At that moment, she heard footsteps
approaching that were purposely trying to be disguised. However, after all the
years of training, her sharp sense of hearing was able to pick up the quiet
footfalls. Yet she could do nothing but wait anxiously but wait for this
anticipated guest.
When
it really did open, the first thing she saw was a gust of snow fluttering into
the room followed by a middle-aged man. She scrutinized his face carefully but
could not remember where she had seen him before. Then her gaze drifted to the
young man that followed behind. It was hard to guess his age for he had a
well-featured and youthful face, but at the same time looked mature because of
his calm and sombre demeanour. She unintentionally locked gazes with him for a
moment, but she could not penetrate his deep inscrutable eyes. She looked away.
She
turned her attention to the middle-aged men and asked, “Who are you?”
Not
answering at first, the middle aged man walked to a chair and sat down. Then he
slowly replied, “I’m sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Luo Ren,
the commander and head of the Brocaded Robe Guards.”
The
moment he said his name the blood from her face drained. She realized why he
looked familiar now. He was the commander who ordered his guards to kill her
family. He would have killed her too if her father did not hide her in the
cellar.
“We
found you passed out in the snow and I pitied you so I told them to bring you
back to my residence,” he continued while fiddling with the jaded ring on his
thumb. The young man stood respectfully beside Luo Ren, who was probably his
father. “Now that I’ve introduced myself, who are you?”
For
a second she opened her mouth to confront him with murdering her family, but
stopped. There was no use confronting him now, he would just kill her.
“My
name is XiaoYue,” she lied.
“You
don’t have a surname?” he asked curiously.
XiaoYue quickly got out of bed and
went on her knees. With a shaky voice she stuttered, “I’m… I’m an orphan. I was
raised up by my master, who taught me martial arts, but she died recently and
now I have no home.”
She
paused for a moment before mustering up the courage to say, “I’ve long admired
the Brocaded Robe Guards and I was wondering if I could join...” This was her
first time lying and she was scared that her eyes would give her away so she
stared at the ground.
He
stared at her without anything and XiaoYue felt nervous under the silence and his
searing gaze.
After
what seemed like ages, he slowly smiled and said, “To be a Brocaded Robe Guard,
you have to do what ordinary people cannot do. If you prove yourself, by
completing the task that I assign you, I will let you in.”
Seeing
that he agreed, XiaoYue quickly prostrated to her new master while smiling bitterly
to herself. She had just accepted a master who killed her family, she thought
to herself. However she now had the chance to get revenge. She knew that many
people hated Luo Ren because he was corrupt and killed many innocent officials
who, like her father, dared to report Luo Ren’s crimes to the Emperor. Luo Ren
always wore a vest impenetrable by any sword to protect himself from assassinations.
However, if she could gain his trust, there must be some way to kill him…
It was not long before XiaoYue
received her first task. She was to imprison Yang Lian because he was accused
of accepting bribe money when in truth his only crime was that he angered Luo Ren
by reporting Luo Ren’s crimes to the Emperor. Unfortunately, the Emperor favoured
Luo Ren too much to believe Yang Lian and instead was angry at Yang Lian for
slandering “innocent” officials. This then gave Xing the opportunity to seek
revenge by placing faulty crimes on Yang Lian. XiaoYue’s job was to imprison
and torture him until he admits to the false crime. Then Lou would have a
reason to kill Lian and his family.
With a troubled expression, XiaoYue
looked across the landscape from the veranda in Xing’s garden. However, she did
not see the pink tinted lilies floating atop the pacifying water, nor the
willow swaying its branches with the rhythm of the wind. Neither did she hear
the swallows chirping at each other in their singsong voice. Instead, she saw scarlet
red blood smeared across the walls and she heard screams that were so terrifying,
demonic, and sinister that each scream steeped into her soul. She would never
be able to forget that day when the Brocaded Robe Guards killed her whole
household, even the maids and servants. She constantly asked herself why she
was going to do the same to someone else now. Was revenge really that important
if the price was to turn into a monster like Luo Ren? But she could not forget
her strong hatred…
It was a pacifying night as XiaoYue
was out on the veranda with her zheng. She was playing a melancholy melody on
her zheng under the dim moonlight. The quiver of each string on her zheng shook
her already shattered heart. After the incident with Yang Lian, she had
nightmares every night. It was her first time witnessing how the guards
tortured their prisoners and she could not help but remember her father.
Yang Lian had gone through almost
all eighteen of the torture equipment the Brocaded Robed Guards had but he
would still not defer. XiaoYue had to order the guards to poison him so he
would feel excruciating pain. Then they had given him the antidote and had asked
him whether he would admit agree to admitting those crimes. Yang Lian
stubbornly refused again. However, XiaoYue knew that she had to complete this
task to join the Brocaded Guards and gain Xing’s trust so she ordered the
guards to continue torturing him. Throughout the whole time, she had her back
turned towards Yang Liang. She did not dare look at him.
It was only when he had mentioned
her father that she had turned around. To get him to speak more she had gained
his trust, by telling him about her family and her plan for revenge. In return,
she had found out that the dagger her father had given her before the Brocaded
Robed Guards came and killed her family could penetrate through LuoYangXing’s
vest. Yang Lian had agreed to admit to the crimes if she promised that she would
kill Xing. After that Yang Lian willingly admitted to his crimes and she had
let him die by poison as it was the better alternative to the other options.
Just
as she was deep in thought, a pacifying and melodic tune flowed into her ears
and interlaced with the melody of her zheng. She peered sideways to find Luo Xi,
Luo Ren’s son leaning against the pillars of the veranda playing a wooden
flute. She knew she should get up and leave but her fingers had a mind of its own.
Just
like that a month had passed. She slowly began to gain the trust of Luo Ren but
the cost was killing more lives of innocent people. Then she received news one day
that Luo Ren was going on a trip into the mountains and Luo Xi and she were
going to be his bodyguards. XiaoYue saw her chance. The mountains are solitary
and so there must be a chance that she can get him alone, away from the rest of
the guards. Whether she could escape or not after her assassination was all up
to fate, but she did not hold high hopes to come back alive.
That night, she and Luo Xi sat back
to back under the moonlight looking at the stars, when XiaoYue suddenly asked
Luo Xi, “Do you hate your father?”
Luo Xi remained silent for a moment
then he replied, “No, I don’t hate him. I am disgusted with what he does, but I
don’t hate him, he’s my father.”
“What if someone killed your father then?
Would you get revenge?”
LuoXi thought for a long time again.
“I don’t know… I have always hated the idea of killing. I would never have been
a Brocaded guard if it were not for my father who forced me. He wants to pass
his authority to me, but he doesn’t understand that I have no care for such
mundane affairs.”
“So if I asked you to take me away
from here you would agree?”
“Yes. If you want, we can go somewhere
far away and live the rest of our lives peacefully.”
XiaoYue wished that it were true but
she knew that there was little chance that they could not go away from here and
live a happy and peaceful life. She did not say anything, but only smiled
wistfully...
The next day, Luo Ren mounted on his
horse followed by XiaoYue and Luo Xi along with other Brocaded Robe Guards
behind. Once they Luo Ren all of them away and said he wanted to be alone. XiaoYue
saw her chance. She told Luo Xi to leave with the guards first because her
stomach hurt. Luo Xi seemed unconvinced but still left.
Making sure that they were already
far away, XiaoYue quietly followed Luo Ren. With discreet and padded footfalls,
she followed behind him swiftly. This silent journey continued for an hour
before they reached the opening of the forest where sunlight could finally penetrate
the dense foliage. She hid behind a tree and silently watched as he walked out
of the forest and onto the high plateau.
She had the feeling that he was
searching for something, but she had no time to care about that. Her chance had
finally come now that he was out in the open with no guards protecting him. She
only had to walk out and then… She unsheathed the delicate gold dagger from her
leather sheath and held it for a moment. The world lapsed into a silence that made
her stomach churn. But after everything that she had experience and witnessed,
she did not tremble at the thought of death anymore. She had learnt to control
her anxiety. She quietly walked towards Luo Ren, with the dagger behind her
back, but her foot steps were no match for Luo Ren’s sharp hearing and he
turned around sharply.
“Master Luo…” XiaoYue said softly
while still striding towards him.
A flash of surprise appeared on his
face before he masked his expression with calmness. “What are you doing here?”
he said flatly.
“I thought that you might need some
help,” XiaoYue replied, still walking.
He stood still for a second,
watching her approach. Suddenly he took something out of his robe and shot it
at her.
Reacting quickly, she dodged, but
not quickly enough. She felt a sharp dart stab into her left shoulder. Before
giving him the chance to do anything else, she ran towards him with the dagger.
She was but an inch away when, suddenly, another figure ran in front of Luo Ren.
However, XiaoYue could not stop in time, and the dagger dug into that person’s flesh
effortlessly.
For a moment XiaoYue stared at the
pair of dark brown eyes which she had found at first to be inscrutable, but now
clear and easy to read. They did not express any sign of disappointment, only
kindness and forgiveness.
Shocked, she quickly pulled out the
dagger and Luo Xi feel to his knees. Letting go of the dagger, she dropped on
her knees as well and their faces were only inches apart
“I figured out a long time ago that
you wanted to kill him,” he whispered softly.
“And you didn’t expose me…”
“Because if I did you would have to
die. I would not do that,” he said, “but I cannot just watch my father die
either. I guess this is the best ending for all of us.”
All she could do was look at him and
she would have liked for time to stay still forever if she did not hear the
loud sound of a firecracker. It was Luo Ren who had just signalled for the rest
of the Brocaded guards.
Luo Xi looked at XiaoYue and said
weakly, “The guards will be coming soon, you have to go. Now.”
But XiaoYue could not move. She did
not want to move. She did not care if the guards caught her. She wasn’t
planning to leave alive anyways. Then she felt a sudden push and all of a
sudden she was already rolling down a cliff…
When she regained conscious again,
she felt something uncomfortable stabbing into her shoulder and realized it was
the dart that Luo Ren had thrown. Out of grief, she grabbed at the dagger and
pulled it out. Warm blood immediately poured from her wound, but it was nothing
compared to the wound in her heart.
She was in the middle of nowhere and
all she could see were shrubs and rocks with occasional dead trees, but for some
reason she got up, half walking and half stumbling, and paced around aimlessly.
Her body ached from the bruises and the wound, but she ignored it.
For a long time she marched onwards
until she saw a cave and without thinking, walked in. Perhaps it was the
feeling of warmth and home of the cave that drew her in, she did not know, but
it just appealed to her. When she stepped inside, she gasped.
The whole cave was covered in roses
of different colours with burgundy patches and magenta wrinkles embedded in the
petals. Some grew to the length of her knees. In the dimness, the vibrant
colours of the rose lit up the cave like candles. However, she noticed that in
the center, a space was left out where a huge rock sat. She strode towards it
while the thorns pricked at her skirt and, without thinking, sat on the ground and
propped her arms on the rock and laid her head on her arms. Her long black hair
draped over her shoulders.
She began to feel drowsy all of a
sudden and closed her eyes. From this height the powerful and alluring
fragrance of the roses heightened. She soaked in the smell and then Luo Xi came
into her mind. A wave of nostalgia followed the bittersweet memories that she knew
she could never return to. Then faces floated into her mind of every person she
had killed. They were all complaining to her, asking why she had killed them,
and all she could do was apologize. Then her father appeared. He looked at her
in shame and disgrace. In that moment of
epiphany, she finally found the answer to her question: No, revenge meant nothing to her and if she could, she would do things differently, but it was too late. The last breeze of wind dried the tear that prickled down her ivory
skin and she drifted into the best sleep that she had had in a long time…
